Mischief and Control

Today was yet another date night with myself. This time dinner and a concert. I have taken to this concept this year. I have now seen more concerts in one year than I had in my lifetime. Here is the breakdown of my concert going history:

#1 - The Singing Cookes (Gospel Group) I saw them twice. Once at the Greene County Fairgrounds and the other at some concert hall in Dayton both in the early 80's.
#2 - Richard Marx, his very first tour ever and it was at Kings Island Timberwolf Amphitheater. 1987
#3 - George Michael, during his Faith days minus his better half of Wham! 1988
#4 - The Who, Quadrophenia with Billy Idol in 1997

NOW IN 2004
#5 - David Bowie, Reality. Saw this with Lorrie. Macy Gray opened
#6 - Cyndi Lauper, At Last. My very first solo date with myself
#7 - Clay Aiken and Kelly Clarkson, Independent This one with Patti, Kim and Jodi
#8 - Celine Dion, A New Day at Caesars Palace in Vegas. This was my solo vacation.
#9 - The Scissor Sisters with Suzanne and Jodi
#10 - Bette Midler, Kiss My Brass. This one was solo and today.

How gay is that collection of concerts!

The evening started by heading downtown. I went to Corner Bakery and had soup and salad. I wanted something light. Then as I was heading to the bus to go to the United Center and Joddie Lowe called me to touch base. She is still working at Starbucks and not sure what to do with her life. It was good to hear from her. The last time we spoke she had just hurled on the train. I am glad she made it home alive.

My seat was great, front row balcony. I was seated between a gay couple and an old Jewish couple. Then directly behind me were middle age women and mothers with daughters. INTERESTING. There was no opening act and we were looking at a stage that was a cartoon version of Coney Island and the curtain was a group of people frolicking on the Boardwalk.

BETTE MIDLER, Kiss my Brass Tour
The Divine Ms. M made her entrance on a carousel horse floating in the air and dressed in a nautical style paint suit. She opened with Kiss My Brass (the name of her new album) bursting with energy and keeping in line with her Harlettes showing that age hasn't got her.

She then breaks into her repartee, which was mostly political with such comments as, "Thank God I'm in a blue state!" and "What an elections is was truly a campaign in my ass!" She then looked at the front row and stated "My people, these are the ones who will lie, cheat and have sex with anyone to sit up front." "Now I have my Northshore people up hear is anyone from Highland Park?" to which there were a few cheers. "Boystown?" A large roar. "I'm shocked, I thought you would be on your way to Massachusetts to get married!" "Milwaukee are you hear I want to see the mullets."

She went back to her early days but not before collapsing to the floor yelling "The 70s the decade of avocado appliances." She sang the beautiful Skylark which she remembers being one of her first "You know George W came to see me do this song." "He got tickets from his cocaine dealer."

She made fun of herself with a film of her suing CBS for canceling her show Bette on Judge Judy. This gave her time for a costume change. She then is found guilty and asked to apologize to everyone that owns a TV. She then says, "When hell freezes over" The stage goes dark and she enters and sings in devil horns and tail I'm Sorry. She stops realizing she need not apologize and then pays tribute to the Jews and Queens who were the only ones who watched her show.

Other highlights, she also takes a dig at Britney with her version of the Britney Bunch. She does a tribute to Rosemary Clooney, brings down the house with and intense version of When a Man Loves a Woman. She ends the first act with a touching song Shiver Me Timbers where she rides back off on he horse.

Second act she pulled out all the Divine personas including Sophie Vaudeville style senior citizen and performs a series of jokes dressed in a muumuu. We also see the return of Delores the side show fish woman and her wheel chair ballet. This time she wants to take her show to Broadway. Taking on such shows as Chicago (her version All That Shad) and Phantom of the Opera where she comes out on a huge fishhook wearing a Phantom mask. A hilarious version of And I Am Telling You from Dreamgirls that made every gay man in the audience roar in delight. Then the finale of this segment her version of Hello Dolly, Hello Delores.

Other highlights, she sang a heartfelt duet of I Like To Be Told with Mr. Rogers that actually made me cry. A statement to what true family values are about. She also asked us to pull out that 20-year-old dubbie from our wallets for another original Do You Wanna Dance. On the softer side she performed I Think It's Gonna Rain, From a Distance which got an amazing response for it's still timely theme, and Wind Beneath my Wings.

She closed with her greatest hit of all time The Rose in which she asked the audience to help her. She assured us she is not retiring nor plans to which she joked about all throughout the concert. It was an amazing concert and really what I needed after a week of despair.

I had a wonderful time but I now have a headache and need to sleep.

Night, Night