Mischief and Control

SICK and TIRED:
WOW! I have been SICK...still! After celebrating with all the fabulous people for Suzanne's Birthday I at dinner became the proud parent of a snot monster! No not Lucas he was a dear. It's the thing that has taken residence in my head and refuses to leave. On occasion parts of him come hurling out of my orifices. I wish he would go but he seems to have taken on squatter's rights. Suzanne's birthday was okay. It had moments of it's to cold...my god the snow...Oh my shoe...where is the car...I just want food...No ATM! Yet was very delightful in the no matter how fucked up an evening can be I can still look at the insane clown posse and say I like em a lot. Warts and all. Then I spent all day Sunday combating my new tenant who had taken to pounding the back of my eyeballs all the while leaving the sink running so my nose was covered in slimy goodness.

WORK: SSDD

BJ: Looks good and I have been allowed to place one egg in my basket but I have left it only sitting there. I just can't let myself go there until I can.

REALITY V MYTHOLOGY: Between working and daydreaming I have had A SHIT LOAD on my mind. It goes back to what Red has said about my current employment. There was a time I was happy to get out of my current life in retail and move to theater again. Now I am faced in getting out of a top theater to go be a "self starter' in ways. To make it happen for others and myself. My question has become "Am I evolving or running?' I can tell you that I am doing both. I have said this before and I believe that I have hit the brick wall and have been stuck there like some Looney Tunes character. Now I know my romanticism of BJ has become of legend and song. Stacey has even said, "I miss the days of, this one time at Blue Jacket." It holds found memories of something that will never be recaptured. It's the past. This however is a new opportunity to create a new era for the next generation. This time I am a general not a private. I will still be blazing a trail but I get to do it from a new prospective. Funny! Here is how I have evolved in BJ

Second actor to the right
Principal actor
Department Head
Designer
Management (not yet but looking good)

Natural don't you think.

So back to the MvR bullshit. Each phase of my life I have created a place that now has become some sort of myth. What I have done and what many do is I have taken the grand experiences good and bad and I have eliminated the mundane. We each can create our own characters and apply them to some grand fiction that has become our past. Where is the reality? The present. The sitting at the desk typing in the data or taking the call or whatever it is. The reality is we are living in the moment until the next big thing happens and we can turn it into legend. Hoping we collect enough along the way to have made one great story. That our supporting cast was truly award winning and that we got our happy ending.

BACKTO BJ: I am looking at the task and hearing a lot of people very excited. For some reason I can't be yet. I just feel the weight of what has to be done and feel very focused on the task at hand. The line between "taking over" and getting the job done in a "collaborative" way is great. Each task great or small has to be strategically place in order to assure that we don't run into problems. The board has put the process a year behind schedule and the clear goal for this season (which by the time we are on board will be a third of the way done) has to have a realistic vision. Yes we will come in and start to make things happen but the real test of our power will be next year at this time.

#1 THIS IS GROUND ZERO - The wreckage has been removed and now we are sorting through the rubble to piece together anything we have left.
#2 BUILDING A FOUNDATION - Setting REALISTIC goals, developing a support system to become your strong foundation.
#3 START BUILDING - Taking each brick and laying it methodically one on top of the other.

The problem I see is that they have already booked the penthouse for a party in June and have no concept of what it takes to get the penthouse (the final piece of the property) built. Then you have to decorate and accessorize.

The mythology of what it could be is not the reality of what it will take to get us there. But when it is there it will be nothing like what they imagined.


And I'm spent!